I’ve written about my anxiety and how I’ve dealt with it. I’ve given examples of how I dealt with the anxiety after I experienced it. Looking back I don’t think I’ve talked about how to be proactive about it. Why haven’t I? Simply because my anxiety isn’t everyone else’s. I think, when it comes down to it, my case, comparatively, is fairly mild.
So why the hell am I writing about it? I love helping people out however I can. If what I write can help anyone, if their struggles are the same, or worse, then I’ll do it.
Anyone reading knows that I collect quotes. I do it because I learn from them. Ok, I also do it so I can sound pithy sometimes. It’s mostly for my own educational benefit. But Pithiness is a side benefit.
Anyway, I came across a quote from a show I watched and loved. Writing and character development were on point, and it was just a helluva ride! I’m Talking about Breaking Bad. Walter, talking to his brother-in-law Hank, is talking about his own fear.
I have spent my whole life scared – frightened of things that could happen, might happen, might not happen. Fifty years I spent like that. Finding myself awake at three in the morning. But you know what? Ever since my diagnosis, I sleep just fine…What I came to realize is that fear, that’s the worst of it. That’s the real enemy. So, get up, get out in the real world and you kick that bastard as hard as you can right in the teeth.
Breaking Bad Season 2 Episode 8
There’s a reason I picked that quote, and why I put a part of it as the title of this post. Stay tuned.
Anxiety is a multiple threat we face daily. Most of us can cope with it . Its basis is all fear. It makes you sick, paralyzes, stops you from thinking clearly, shuts you down, makes you irrational and is a gateway into depression if left unchecked.
So how can you proactively deal with it? Good question. Keep in mind, this isn’t the end all, be all. This is what’s worked for me, for what’s made me anxious. For me it all has to do with preparation. If your anxiety centers around things you need to prepare for, like business meetings or functions, prep things in advance.
- Plan and rehearse. This is a crucial step if you are presenting something.
- Delegate tasks if you are able. Sharing the load doesn’t make you look weak if you have a crap-ton of work. It makes you look smart.
- Check and recheck things that are going to come up. Part of being prepared is prepping for issues that might arise. Questions that might be asked. Of course no one can prep for everything. To that end…
- Have back up plans in place. In case things go wrong, being prepared can diffuse your anxiety. Knowing you have a fallback is a good way to take the bite out of your anxiety.
There’s another side to this coin. What if you can’t be proactive? What if anxiety springs up and latches onto you at 1:45 in the morning? It happens all the time. When that happens, you need to know that the Fear is the worst part of it all. I’m afraid I’m going to fail. I’m afraid they’re going to take my home. I’m afraid they’ll all leave me. I’m afraid of leaving them. I’m afraid of them dying. I’m afraid of dying. I’m afraid.
It’d be the easiest thing in the world for me to tell you that the fear, the anxiety, are all bollocks. It’d be simple to say go take a hot shower, make yourself a cuppa, and breathe deeply as you think about the good things in your life. Things aren’t always easy and simple though. I wish it were.
Anxiety will grab you when you’re least ready. It’ll remind you about everything you’re worried about, it’ll dredge up things that shouldn’t be worries. It’ll make you good and worried, and it will hold you down for your Fear.
Your Fear kicks you where it knows it’s gonna hurt you the worst. It reminds you of all the mistakes you’ve made, all bad stuff in your life, and it wants us to know of how much of a failure you are.
It will be alright. You can deal. If anxiety starts in on you, remember the following. Most of the fuel that drives Anxiety is based on ‘what if?’ What if I can’t make my car payment? What if I lose my job? What if my family leaves me? On and on the ‘what ifs’ can pile up and overwhelm you.
Let’s face facts. The ‘what ifs’ are phantoms. They are nothing. They’re made up of two parts worry and one part fear. There are legitimate ‘What Ifs’ and I’ll talk about those in a moment, but the majority of things our anxiety makes up for us are just that. Made up. Blown out of proportion.
The actual ‘What Ifs’, the things we need to be concerned with, are things that are in our control. We can deal with them. We can solve those problems. Sometimes they’re problems that can be solved in one go sometimes they need to be broken down, divided up into multiple tasks. That’s still workable. If it isn’t, ask for help. No one ever said you need to deal with these things alone.
Without the anxiety to hold you down, you’ll be free to stand up to your fear, and like the man said. “You kick that bastard as hard as you can right in the teeth.”
The Wayside 