All I Wanted…So why am I so sad?

I always dreamed of writing a book.

I always wanted a family.

I never thought I’d speak in front of hundreds of people about the same topics that I love.

I’ve done all of that, and I am going to continue doing it.

I live a life that I love. I am around people that I genuinely enjoy. I’ve done things that have exceeded my expectations.

So why the hell am I so sad?

Why do I wake up at 4:00 in the morning and feel a weight pressing down on me?

Why do I feel like my life has amounted to nothing?

In the end, looking at my life, what I’ve accomplished, and what I am going to do I have no reason to be so morose. That being said, perhaps I don’t need a reason. Maybe I need to have periods in my life where I’ll have bouts of anxiety and depression.

I don’t have all the answers to this. Hell I don’t have the answers I should have after living for 43 years. Maybe I never will.

I do know a few things. I can ride this out. I hit my low point years ago, I haven’t been that low since. Things can get better.

For now that’s enough.